Three Perspectives. Three Lenses. One Leadership Conversation.
by Mentoring Matters
6 minutes read
What does it actually take for a woman to thrive in leadership today?
If you ask the headlines, they’ll tell you it’s about "confidence."
If you ask the company handbooks, they’ll talk about "diversity goals."
But if you sit down with a Founder, a Coach, and a Leader, you’ll hear
a much more nuanced truth.
This International Women’s Day, we are looking at leadership through
the lens of ‘Give to Gain.’ It’s a philosophy that challenges the old,
exhausted narrative of "hustle and prove." Instead, it suggests that
when an ecosystem gives the right support, it gains a calibre of
leadership that is sustainable, strategic, and deeply impactful.
How does the ecosystem actually shift? How does a leader’s inner world
evolve? How do we move from a culture of "proving" to a culture of
"positioning"?
To answer this, we’ve brought together people at different vantage
points of the same journey. These are their stories, in their own words.
The Founder’s Perspective: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint
By Meera and Preeti
In our years of building and observing organizations, we’ve seen a
recurring pattern: women are often forced into a "100-meter sprint"
mentality. They feel they must prove their worth instantly and
constantly.
Historically, women have faced a double bind that felt impossible
to escape: if you were task-focused, you were "difficult"; if you
were people-focused, your expertise was questioned. Even worse,
we’ve seen brilliant women’s promotions dismissed as "diversity hires"
rather than a recognition of their capability.
But the real ‘Give to Gain’ moment happens when we look at the career
as a decades-long marathon.
There is a specific point where a woman’s career trajectory and her
home responsibilities grow in parallel. If organizations give maximum
support, flexibility, and trust at this exact moment, they gain a
leader who is more committed and effective than ever.
At Mentoring Matters, we once ran a program specifically for the
managers of women to dismantle the bias that only mothers need
"space." A father is just as vital to the home ecosystem as a mother.
By giving managers the tools to see employees as humans first, each
with different roles at different times, the organization gains a
culture where people aren't labelled by their constraints but valued
for their contribution.
The Coach’s Lens: Expanding the Identity
By Sarita Rochwani
In my career coaching women leaders, I’ve realized that what the
world often labels a "confidence issue" is rarely that. It isn't a
lack of capability, it’s an intelligent reading of the landscape.
When a woman hesitates, she is often navigating a lack of
psychological safety or an internal tension around power. To gain
a new level of influence, she must first give herself permission
to update her self-concept.
For a leader to gain true influence, she must navigate:
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The Visibility vs. Likeability Tension:
Giving up the need for universal "likeability" to gain the
respect of being an impactful, assertive leader.
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Psychological Safety:
Recognizing that hesitation isn't a lack of capability, but
a response to a system where the "political risk" feels high.
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The Internalized Standard:
Giving up relentless self-criticism to gain an anchored sense
of self-worth.
In my coaching room, the most powerful shifts happen when a leader moves:
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From Proving to Positioning:
I help them stop "auditioning" for their jobs and start owning
their strategic value.
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From Agreeable to Clear:
We work on giving up the guilt of setting boundaries so they
can gain the respect of clear communication.
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From Seeking Permission to Exercising Agency:
It’s about shifting from waiting for approval to leading from
a sense of internal legitimacy.
The biggest "gain" I see is Identity Expansion. When a leader stops
internally negotiating her right to be there, her presence and
visibility transform naturally. Confidence isn't the goal; it’s the
by-product of finally trusting her own authority.
The Client’s Lens: Reclaiming Ambition and Presence
By Nikita Nair, Head of India Sourcing and Global Corporate
Services, Equiniti
I have been in the corporate world since 2012, predominantly in
Financial Services. Throughout my journey, I faced defining
challenges: being labelled "too ambitious," navigating imposter
syndrome, and learning how to bring genuine gravitas into senior
rooms. Early on, I often questioned whether I truly belonged at
certain tables.
Engaging in individual coaching with Mentoring Matters was my
turning point. It helped me give up the unconscious signals of
hesitation and gain a perspective that reframed ambition as a
core strength.
My Tangible Gains:
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Strategic Negotiation & Savings:
By approaching negotiations with a redefined sense of presence
and assertiveness, I have been able to steer high-stakes
conversations with greater influence. This shift wasn't just
about technique; it allowed me to push for stronger commercial
positions that drove additional value and significant savings
for the organization.
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Executive Presence:
Coaching gave me the practical tools to be intentional about
my communication and influence. What once felt like obstacles
became catalysts for growth, shaping a more grounded,
authentic leadership style that changed both how I saw myself
and how I was perceived by senior stakeholders.
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Career Acceleration:
A significant milestone in this journey was my promotion earlier
this year to Head of India Sourcing and Global Corporate Services.
This role reflects the mindset shift coaching enabled, teaching
me to articulate my goals clearly, position myself intentionally,
and step fully into a broader leadership mandate with renewed energy.
The Client’s Lens: Choosing Intentionality
By Anjana Avoodaiappan M, Audit Manager, Equinity
I have spent 15 years in the world of auditing, a field where
friction and high-pressure discussions are the daily norm. For a
long time, I struggled with a leadership style that felt too reactive.
I was deeply emotionally attached to the work, and I found it nearly
impossible to say "no." High-friction audit findings didn't just stay
at the office; they caused me real personal distress.
Through coaching, I realized that to gain a steady professional
impact, I had to give up my reactive habits. I learned to trade
reactivity for intentionality. I now lead with a calm, assertive
communication style that prioritizes listening and clear boundaries,
ensuring my professional impact remains steady even in high-pressure
situations.
As our organization grows, audit oversight must be as agile as the
business itself. Since my coaching, I’ve moved away from isolated
testing toward a more integrated strategy. By 'connecting the dots'
between global shifts and new product launches, I now provide
proactive risk intelligence rather than just checking for past
compliance. This approach ensures our safeguards evolve at the same
speed as our innovation, protecting the business as we scale.
By modelling this objective approach, I have significantly accelerated
the closure of audit findings with my stakeholders. Perhaps the
greatest gain is that my team has begun mirroring this approach.
What was once a source of personal friction has become a core
departmental strength. I no longer make decisions in haste; I make
them with deliberate strategic intent.
The Intersection: Where the Ecosystem Meets
As a coaching platform, our role is to be the bridge where these
perspectives meet. We believe that when organizations give their
leaders access to high-calibre coaching, they gain a ripple effect
of clarity and resilience. When a Coach provides the psychological
safety for identity expansion, the Client gains the agency to
transform their team.
The "gain" isn't just an individual promotion or a closed audit
finding, it is a more intentional, sustainable, and human way of
leading. This International Women’s Day, we invite you to look at
your own leadership ecosystem: What will you give to the system
today, so that we may all gain the leaders of tomorrow?
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